


Stay

by DarkFlowerDreaming



Category: British Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Familial bonding, Fluff, M/M, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 11:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkFlowerDreaming/pseuds/DarkFlowerDreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki makes a very painful mistake and needs parental guidance to get his sorry ass to make it right again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Marvel. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The character of Thomas "Tom" Hiddleston is based on a real person, and no offence is intended. 
> 
> Thanks to Batsutousai for betaing.

They were lying in bed after Tom had convinced Loki to stay for the night and not vanish after he had fucked the mortal into the mattress. Getting him to stay after sex always required carefully treading a fine line between pleading too much and not enough.

At the beginning of their arrangement it had been okay if Tom had failed at that, since he wanted little more than the sex and the few times the god demanded entertainment and kept him company during the day. But after almost six months of Loki visiting him, Tom had found that he had grown rather fond of the god’s presence. He knew that telling Loki would immediately end their meetings, considering how afraid the god was of commitment - that much Tom had learned during the rare times Loki would disclose some information about himself, other than what the actor already knew - so Tom tried to make do with convincing him to stay after sex and cuddle, pretending it was just a habit. 

In recent weeks, however, Tom had become more and more restless when Loki wasn’t around, and had begun to feel rather lonely during those times. He was sure that these feelings were not mutual, but he just could not help himself. 

 

It had been almost a month since Loki’s last visit and Tom was worried that something had happened to the god. A small part of him tried to convince himself that Loki probably had other lovers beside him; that he was not needed and had most likely been discarded after pleading too much the last time. He tried to push these thoughts away, reasoning with himself that Loki was just too busy to seek Tom out, nothing else. Still, it hurt more than Tom had ever thought it would. 

When Loki finally showed up again in Tom’s living room, where the latter had just finished watching a film to distract himself, Tom had to use every ounce of discipline he had in him not to rush to the god’s side and hug him. Despite how much he had missed him, he knew that Loki was not always in the best mood during his visits, so being cautious and not too eager was the best way of approaching him. Also, coming on too strong would probably only result in pushing the god away for good. So he just stood to face Loki, fighting to keep his expression free of his feelings, hoping the other hadn’t noticed the relieved smile he couldn’t suppress when he heard the familiar rustle of the god’s garments. 

The god looked tired, but there was no mistaking the glint in his eyes. He took Tom’s form in hungrily, almost relishing in the way the jeans he wore emphasised the bulge of his crotch, and how the mortal had been too lazy to fully button up the shirt he wore, exposing his neck and the upper part of his chest. Without a word, much less an explanation for his long absence, Loki closed the distance between them. Wrapping his arms around him and pressing kisses to Tom’s collarbone, Loki murmured, ‘Missed me, pet?’ The mortal shivered under his touch. The god couldn’t possibly know how much he had been missed. 

 

Tom was glad that he had managed to convince Loki to stay that night. Feeling the other’s arms wrapped tightly around his chest, his warm body pressed close to him, gave him the illusion of being important to Loki, like the god needed him as much as he had discovered he needed the god. That what they had was more than just sex. However, there was still a small voice in the back of his head, whispering that he was no more than a toy, useful only for a few hours of pleasure or entertainment every now and then. He knew he should not listen to it, that he should enjoy these few hours of peace and warmth, extremely rare as they were. But the knowledge that he was clinging to an illusion weighed him down. Although he suspected what would happen if he asked, he longed to hear the truth, no matter the cost. He still struggled to keep quiet and not disturb the silence, but ultimately he could not stop the words escaping his lips: ‘Loki?’ He paused. ‘Am I the only one you visit? Or are there others beside me?’ 

He regretted it the second he said it. Loki immediately rolled from the bed, his clothes appearing on him as he stood. ‘Of course there are. Do you think I could be satisfied with one mere mortal like you? That you were enough, just because we share a face, and you claim to know me? Do not make me laugh, fool!’ he spat, fury blazing in his eyes. 

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...’ Tom sounded desperate; he was ignoring the fact that he was probably making it worse. But Loki would not have it and vanished with a cruel look on his face, leaving Tom upset and heartbroken on the bed, shivering from the sudden cold and the fear of losing Loki. 

Unbeknownst to Tom, however, Loki did not teleport away, but instead only chose to turn himself invisible, so he could feast on the mortal’s fear and distress. As upset as he was about the unexpected inquiry, which had caused him to lie reflexively and made him want to leave, the prospect of seeing Tom’s pain, especially after his insolence, seemed too good an entertainment to pass up. What he did not anticipate was the ache in his chest that he suddenly felt at seeing Tom curling up in the space Loki had occupied moments before, silently sobbing into the pillow. Then he was pleading for the trickster to come back, insisting that he didn’t think of himself being worthy of Loki. Instead of a feeling of triumph at witnessing Tom’s distress, though, the god only felt strangely hurt and confused. Angry at himself for this, he finally teleported away, somehow being unable to endure more of Tom’s misery. 

 

Back in Asgard, Loki paced tirelessly around his chambers. He tried to wrap his head around what had just happened to him in Tom’s bedroom. That strange feeling would not go away, and even worse, it intensified whenever he pictured the mortal lying there, curled into a ball and sobbing. When he couldn’t find a suitable explanation even after hours of contemplating, skipping meals in the process and being scolded by Thor (‘Brother, you should show yourself more often! Mingle with the people, show your good side!’), Loki decided to search for an answer in his books. His collection had always managed to provide some comfort to him even in his darkest hours, welcoming his presence and quenching his thirst for knowledge. This time, however, even his beloved books could not give him peace, as they did not hold a solution to his problem. 

Night had fallen again by the time he’d closed the last volume. His heart was still aching, he was hungry after not having eaten for over a day, and his confusion about his whole situation had not lessened in the slightest. While pondering about his predicament, a fleeting thought lodged itself in his head: ‘What if I have fallen for him? Is this what... love feels like?’  
Loki was at a loss. He had never felt such an intense feeling for somebody before. Surely this could not really be love? No, of course not. Thomas was nothing more than a mildly intriguing mortal who shared his face, so similar and yet so completely different. He was always so caring and genuinely nice; he had nothing of Loki's cruel nature. Instead he always looked at Loki with awe and understanding in his bright blue eyes, their honesty upsetting the god, who felt inexplicably drawn to them. 

Whenever Tom had tried to convince Loki of staying with him to cuddle, the latter had always felt strangely happy. He had refused to really acknowledge this sentiment, even to himself. Besides, showing the mortal how much power he had over Loki was just too much of a risk. Now however, he wished he had never denied both of them this pleasure, he found he was yearning for Tom's closeness, his scent and this strange feeling of safety that enveloped him whenever they were holding each other. It was different than with any lover he had had before. There had been no feelings beyond lust and passion. Why was he feeling like this now? He knew what loving somebody felt like. He loved his children most dearly and missed them terribly. Even for Odin, Thor and of course Frigga there was love in him, even if he would never admit it to somebody other than himself, which had been difficult enough. 

At this moment, he wanted nothing more than to return to Earth and console Thomas, hold him and tell him about the lie, that there really was only him and nobody else. He couldn’t bring himself to do that, however. It would be admitting that he had fallen for a Midgardian, like Thor had. Even worse, it would mean that he had feelings for this complete fool, who seemed to adore him, no matter how he tried to hide that fact, who always managed to cheer him up somehow, even when he was in the sourest of moods, and who cared so much for the god, seeing past his faults, soothing the pain in his tortured heart. Loki thought that the more he tried to find flaws in Thomas’ behaviour towards him, anything to make him despise the human, the more he longed for setting things straight between them. It confused him to no end. At a loss about what to do, he decided to turn to the only person who both cared enough to listen to him and who might actually be able to help him. 

 

‘Mother!’ Loki stormed through the doors to Frigga’s chambers, paying no heed to the late hour. His mother had always had an open ear for either of her sons, no matter the time or the reason they came to her. 

‘Loki! What’s the matter, dear?’ Frigga stood in front of the fireplace, from within which warm flames lit most of the amply sized room. A little behind her, her husband, Odin Allfather, was sitting on a sofa. At Loki’s sudden entrance, both had turned towards him, Odin looking a little suspicious at first, but he had relaxed as he recognised the Trickster. 

For a moment, Loki was taken aback when seeing the Allfather sitting rather casually on the sofa. His first instinct was to turn on his heels and run, or at least pretend it was nothing, but a glance from Frigga stopped him. 

‘Is something wrong, my son?’ Hearing these words from his adopted father had Loki recoiling physically, despite that little spark of love he had even for the Allfather. For a moment, he could have sworn he'd seen just the tiniest look of sadness in Odin’s eyes at his reaction, but it was gone so quickly that Loki decided to brush it off as (reluctant) wishful thinking. 

He managed to collect himself. ‘I wished to talk to mother about an urgent matter, Allfather.’ Again, at the mention of his title the elder had a peculiar look in his eye. Loki wondered if he was seeing things. Unfortunately, Odin made no move to get up and leave, which caused a rather awkward silence, as both the trickster and the king looked at each other expectantly. 

After a few moments, when it was clear that neither man would leave the chamber, Frigga spoke up, ‘What is it you wanted to talk to me about, Loki?’ She sat down next to her husband, motioning for Loki to take the armchair close to the sofa. 

Loki tried to use the few moments until he had settled down to collect himself. He was not very fond of the idea of talking about Thomas – let alone of his feelings for the mortal – in front of Odin. Talking to his mother would be difficult enough. But he had no choice. The Allfather would most likely not leave his wife’s chambers in the near future, since it seemed like one of the rare occasions when he actually had time to spend with her, and now that Loki had sat down, he himself had no good reason to leave so soon. The trickster cursed inwardly. He could not even think of something less embarrassing than his feelings that would require the same amount of urgency to be discussed. In the end he just decided to go with the truth. Maybe Odin would not believe him anyway, so, how much more could it hurt than this confusion? Not that his so-called father had ever shown much interest in his emotions before. 

‘I... I met a mortal on one of my recent visits to Midgard. At first, he proved to be a nice distraction. He wasn’t the first mortal I found, but... for some reason, I returned to him over and over. Nobody else could hold my attention since I met him.’ He paused, unsure how to go on. His famed silver tongue had seemingly left him. He dared not look into their eyes, but neither spoke, so he continued. 

‘I never wanted to grow attached to him, but somehow I did. I am... confused. I never thought he felt anything for me, but he asked whether he was the only one I was seeing. I overreacted and lied, I thought it... would be funny to hurt him like that. Yet, it hurt me too. More than I would ever have expected.’ Another pause. 

‘What should I do?’ By now his voice had grown weaker and weaker, and the last words had been rushed, as his confusion and pain warred with his attempts to stay composed in front of Odin. Loki had already disclosed more than he wanted the Allfather to know in the first place, and now the familiar feeling of being scrutinized closely by him almost made him squirm in his seat. Only years of training stopped him from doing so. 

‘My dear... I think you need to talk to him and sort it out. If it hurt you so much, it is obvious that you care about him deeply.’ Frigga’s tone was concerned, but soft. She stood up and cradled Loki’s head in her hands, gently tilting his face up to look into his eyes. 

‘But... what if it’s too late?’ Loki sounded broken, and now he did not even care about Odin witnessing it. ‘I always mess things up!’  
‘Loki...’ Frigga started to say something, but trailed off. 

A warm hand was placed on Loki’s shoulder, trying to comfort him, but it had a very tentative feeling to it. ‘My son, everybody makes mistakes. Some more grave ones than others, some just more in general, but, nobody is beyond learning from their mistakes and trying to heal the damage they have done. Regret is the first step to reconciliation.’ At first Loki did not trust his ears. Such kind words, from the mouth of the one who lied to him about everything? And then laced with this kind of a deeper meaning? Impossible. Odin would never admit such a thing... or would he?

Loki was torn between the solace and hope those words promised, and the fact that they had come from the Allfather. He was frozen in place, and for just a moment he allowed himself to feel the warmth radiating from his parents. He made up his mind to return to Thomas, his confidence bolstered for at least a short time. 

‘Dear, please go see him?’ Frigga planted a soft kiss on Loki’s forehead, then laced her hand with that of her husband, who looked at the trickster with an air of hesitancy and hope, but most importantly, something that Loki would later reluctantly describe as love. 

 

After Loki left, Tom had spent the rest of the night curled up in bed, crying and thinking about what had happened and why he could not have kept his mouth shut for once. It was almost dawn when he finally fell asleep. 

The next day, he only dragged himself out of bed because he had to stay in shape for a role he had gotten in a play, so after he had breakfast, he went to the gym. He skipped his morning run, though. The rest of the day he spent learning his lines, anything to distract him from the emptiness in his heart and the pain of being rejected outright, but the lines did not stick and his work was for naught. When he went to bed that night, he could not help but stare at the spot he had last seen Loki, and although he tried to fight them, the tears returned and he eventually cried himself to sleep. 

 

Loki watched Tom lying in bed that night, contemplating how to approach him. When he was sure that the mortal would not wake soon, he sat on the edge of the bed and, after some hesitation, softly carded his fingers through the other’s short strands, like he had never done before. At this, Tom stirred slightly, causing the god to panic, but the actor just leaned into Loki’s touch, which brought a slight stab of pain to his heart, but also a gentle warmth. Suddenly embarrassed, Loki retreated to Tom’s living room, where he stretched out on the sofa, cuddling a pillow, but finding no sleep. 

The next morning, he again watched Tom, who did not feel any better than before. Loki followed the mortal all day, trying to find the best time and way to talk to him, but found none. In the end, he made himself visible while standing at the end of Tom’s bed after he had laid down for the night, startling him terribly because he had not thought the god would ever return to him. 

‘Loki? Wha... Why are you here? I thought...’ Tom whispered brokenly. He did not believe his eyes. Why had Loki come back? Didn’t he say he was dispensable? 

‘Thomas, I...’ Loki trailed off and looked down, not wanting to look directly at Tom. ‘There– there is no one else, I am... I lied. There’s only you.’ 

Tom tried to process what he heard, searching desperately for a sign that the god meant what he said and was not just playing tricks on him to hurt him. But when Loki looked up again, into the actor’s eyes, he knew it was the truth. He had never seen Loki so open, so broken but hopeful at the same time. Slowly, the mortal got up from the bed and made a few tentative steps towards the trickster, reaching out with his hand. 

At first, Loki wanted to shy away from Thomas’ hand, but when it came to rest on his arm, soft and warm, he leaned into it and brought his hands up to hold onto Tom’s arms, stepping a little closer so that their faces were almost touching. 

‘I am... sorry for treating you like I did. There was no reason for me to react the way I did. Can you... forgive me?’ At this Loki looked away again, not wanting to see the rejection he feared on Tom’s face. 

But the mortal just took Loki’s face in his hands and gently forced him to look at him. ‘Of course I forgive you.’ A soft smile formed on Tom’s lips, and after a moment, he slowly pressed a small kiss to Loki’s mouth, who shyly reciprocated it. 

‘Thank you. So, so much,’ the god muttered against the other’s lips, pulling the man close to him. ‘Thomas, I... I l-‘

‘Shh, darling, shh. That’s for another time. Come to bed, will you?’

**Author's Note:**

> No matter what the Prelude to The Dark World says, I'm convinced Odin still loves Loki >: Even if it is only the boy he thinks is gone.


End file.
